Dear Distance

Dear distance,

Why does circumstance change the manner in which I want to measure you? Why is it that kilometers mean nothing to me anymore? Why do you take such pride in being vast, immense, cosmic, titanic, gigantic, Why?

Your latitudes and longitudes are too far apart. If only they were tightropes I could land my feet on, I’d trapeze my way over to where you became obsolete. To where my mind would no longer be incomplete.

Dear distance,

You tear me away from normalcy, seducing me with tales of things I am forever to discover. With dreams I didn’t even know I had. To places that belong only in books. To become someone who lay dormant within me like a caged bird who thought her feathers were just emotional baggage. You rip away at my way of life, showing me its flaws as though it were an onion – each layer more pungent and acidic than the first. You take me all the way to my very core, where introspection is my only defense mechanism, where my tears aren’t from ascorbic but from the heart. 

Dear distance,

You take me away from my priorities that loom large each day, through a tunnel scattered with alluring stimuli, until they look an inch high from where we are. You convince me of the importance of the ground we stand upon, of life beyond the tunnel, of the scenic route. Temptress, you always have your way with me. I wonder if I’ll ever have mine.

Dear, dear distance,

I despise your charm. Your unpredictability and gut-wrenching thirst for adventure. Your ability to twist the monotony out of life. Your constant need for privacy and solitude. I despise the ease with which you can say goodbye.

Perhaps if I could uproot smoothly, wander through life without connections, without sowing seeds of love along the way, I too could wave at the years as they went by. But I am yet to learn the art of isolation. Of separation. Of avoiding wanton desperation, or dreaming up miniscule versions of my once ginormous priorities that I could carry around in my back pocket – egging me on when times got tough. If only, my dear distance, I could be as free as you are.