Thursday, December 22, 2011

Which direction do I turn?

Why does the future need to be planned right now? What's the great urgency? The world sure isn't ending that soon. How can I know, at 17, when there are so many exciting and interesting options all around, which of them I want to do and continue doing for the rest of my life? But the sore reality is that I need to know just that. And what scares me is that I'll make the wrong choice.

Wherever I go, I meet people who ask me, "So what are you going to do after 12th?" And as they patiently wait for a confident answer like medicine or engineering, I search for ways to put into words my indecision without making myself sound lost. Most of the time I just reply saying "pure sciences" which is a fancy way of saying BSc. This generally raises some eyebrows since most of those who ask me these questions are acquaintances of my grandparents, who connect the science stream to wanting to become a doctor or an engineer only. I find relatives and others telling my sister to study hard and become a doctor. I went through that "It would be nice to have a doctor in the family" phase myself. But that line definitely isn't for me. 

I'm not sure what I want to do, but I'm pretty clear about what I don't want to. You'd think that narrows things down for me but it really doesn't. What I find so intimidating about the whole post-12th stage is the uncertainty linked with it. Even if I knew for sure what I wanted to study and where I wanted to study it, there would be no way of ensuring it would happen. There are after all, thousands of other students at the same crossroads as I am. 
So for now, it's just study hard and see where life takes me.   

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